Village Hardware Cookham - for your flange related requirements and more...

As VIP men go, Tony from Village Hardware is right up there with Father Christmas as far as I am concerned. This is mainly thanks to my complete ineptitude with anything that comes under the general heading of “handy”. Changing a light bulb is probably possible yes, but finding the correct light bulb in the first instance is another matter entirely.  I mean, who on earth decided to call it a “bayonet fitting”?  That’s like starting an argument even before you have tried putting it in the screw fitting.

Anyway, back to Tony.  The point is, whatever your household requirement, all you have to do is go in there clutching your Exhibit A.  Very often you don’t even need to say anything.  You hand it to him with a bemused look on your face and he will say “Do you need another one"?  And even I can reply to that.  The shop is a tardis and off Tony will beetle to find a replacement of Exhibit A.  I actually don’t think there is anything I have ever needed that Tony has not got, or been able to order in.  Need a paintbrush a fine as a camels eyelash?  Tony’s got them.  Need to replace the chain on the bath plug and it's “65 bobbles long” (that’s 18” so it seems), then Tony’s got that too.  You know how you need to put salt in the water softener?  Well you can get it there - you don't have to go to McEvoy and Rowley in Cordwallis Road, where you can't park.  And the reason I now know about the salt is because - to my eternal shame - I went in with the dog and he cocked his leg on a pile of bags that was propping the door open.  Tony even has fabulous things that you didn't know you needed - so it's just like being in Lakeland!  Village Hardware is also frequented by "Trades".  I know that word because I occasionally watch DIY SOS.  Or rather I watch DIY SOS because of Nick Knowles.  So somehow, Tony can switch from discussing flat-face flanges and non metallic gaskets with men in fluorescent tabards, to explaining to me that the garage door zapper is not working because the battery has run out. RESPECT. So next time you think of going to B&Q, stop for a moment to consider that Tony may well be able to help you, and he's only two minutes down the road.... 


  1. Very funny – love it, and so true, Tony is a legend in the village! x


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