Cookham Dean pubs and grub - what's your view?

Due to an epic house-keeping failure on Saturday, we were forced to eat out.  Very fortunately, Cookham Matters HQ is within walking distance of every hostelry in the village – so we are spoilt for choice.

Of we set to Uncle Toms and unsurprisingly, it was heaving.  You could barely move out the front and the back had reserved on every table.  The girl went to ask if it was possible to squeeze a couple of little ones in, but unfortunately not.  Packed to the gunnels.  Rammed.  This left us with a dilemma, and is where this post might become a little contentious, because we all have our favourite pub don’t we?

By far our nearest pub is The Chequers.  We were Friday night regulars along with many in the area.  Carlos was quite simply the best front of house host I have ever come across and we were welcomed and very comfortable, even when just having a drink.  We ate there only for special occasions and it is true that I found myself wishing that in addition to the white table clothes and silver service, they would do can’t-be-bothered-to-cook-mid-week-pub-grub.  Now the Mango Lounge, I have no idea why this village needs another Indian?  We have been a couple of times since the new ownership, and whilst the staff are charming, there were few customers, I found the food average and the service perhaps a little over attentive.  Plus, it was in my opinion, expensive - £120 per couple (with only 1 bottle of ordinary wine).

The Jolly was our default for a long time, when we could get in.  Full of locals, proper hearty pub food at a reasonable price.  But what on earth has happened?  After a series of frankly, very poor meals in a nearly empty pub we have been left determined not to mindlessly head there again.

In another life, I used to get in my boyfriend’s Ford Escort Harrier with a blue go-faster stripe and head to the Hare and Hounds (now The Sanctum) to play pool.  So 1982 was probably the last time I went there because I like an elephant (in many respects), I never forget.  Seriously, I can bear a grudge for years!  Cross me and I will remember that slight forever – and cross me The Sanctum did.  Before I even lived in the village, I was walking with a girlfriend and we were looking on an OS map, for the path that sneaks down the side of the pub by the front door.  Never having followed the route before, we were struggling to find the path.  Outside the back of the pub were a group of staff having a ciggie.  They saw us approaching as we were heading for the car park, looking at the map in my hand, looking at the view in front of us, back at the map – it must have been very obvious what was happening.  Literally in front of our noses, someone pressed the button to shut the electric gates to the car park and stop us going in.  I was absolutely furious at the rudeness – I can’t remember what was said, but I remember admonishing them.  Since that day, I have not been back to The Sanctum.  I refused any and all invitations and failed to recommend it when people asked.  However, on Saturday our need was great and I had heard that it had changed hands.

So in we went with our open-minds.  On the basis that there was no one in there, we felt fairly confident that they would be able to feed us.  I scanned the menu and whilst it all sounded quite nice, there was nothing that really grabbed me.  Apart from the prices.  £16 for a home-made burger?  Am I the only one that thinks that is too much?  The steak was recommended so we both ordered that (£20), and bottle of wine (£25).  When the food arrived, I am afraid it was a big disappointment.  Dressed with way too much rock salt, soggy, custard coloured chips and salad with no dressing.  About a third of my steak was so tough it was in-edible.  Now, to be fair, I like my steak rare so there is no wiggle room for gristle, and the other steak was perfectly OK.  So perhaps I was unlucky.  Because I told them (very nicely) about the saltiness, the one dessert we had was on the house.  Mango cheesecake.  If I was making mango cheesecake at home, it would have been better.  And it came still a bit frozen and with no dollop of cream and nothing green on it – although the picked, wild blackberries were a nice touch.  The young men waiting on table were absolutely charming but clearly very inexperienced, and I assume that the intention was to learn on the job, but I feel for them because that is going to be very difficult when there are so few customers.  So following this experience, whilst we wish them all the very best with the new venture, we will not be hurrying back.

So what is going on?  Uncle Toms has (and for some time) been getting it spot on.  My personal view is that in Cookham Dean, landlords need to make a special effort to appeal to the locals that arrive on foot.  If anyone from the village is going to get in the car to go out, I think they are probably going to go down in to Marlow – which let’s face it is replete with eating venues for every budget.  And then, with a foundation of regular locals that will recommend, I think you will get people from further afield.  I am clear on what I want as a local.  Good quality pub grub at a fair price in an (atmospherically) warm and comfortable pub environment.  I don’t want to go to a pub for an Indian, I don’t want to look at a plate of food and feel disappointed, and I don’t want to sit in what a London club thinks a country pub is.  I’m interested to know what you all think?